Give and receive with grace.
Consider presence over presents.
Slow down and savor the season’s simplicity.
Author Archives: administr8tor
You Are Here? Where are your goals?
You Are Here/ Are you near your goals?
Where are you now? Are you near your goals?
We are mid-way through 2021. Are you where you want to be?
Now is a good time to reflect on what you’ve done and where you are. Take some time to reassess. Are you on track for reaching some of your goals for this year?
The goals don’t need to be lofty. A simple one for today is staying on track to reach a long-term goal.
Stop. Breathe. Think.
Where am I now? Where do I want to be? What is the next right step to point me in that direction?
small steps + simple actions = sustainable progress
What consistent small steps are you taking toward your goal?
Pandemic Anniversary! You survived every BAD day 2020 had to offer.
Some of my thoughts to my clients on this pandemic anniversary.
Mindset Matters
As children we believe we can do anything. Our imaginations are powerful and we believe we are as well.
Over time, people in our lives start to dismantle our beliefs in fairies and magic, but also in the possibility that the unknown holds. We become less confident and adopt phrases like “I️ can’t” and “That’s hard” or “I’m scared.”
We grow up feeling stuck by the confines of limiting beliefs. We are willing to attempt only what we know we can achieve.
Mindset matters.
We must have a growth mindset to be able to achieve great things. In order to become unstuck and move forward in our lives we must allow ourselves to try with the possibility of failing. Growth comes from mistakes. Success comes from failures. To reach the next level sometimes we need to take a leap of faith.
Now is the time to renew your faith in yourself and the power you’ve always had inside. Change your mind to change your life. If you’re ready to change but not sure where to start, give me a call.
*****
Reflect…Reframe…Reset
This message will not be about all that is happening in the world around you. The purpose is not to reiterate the stories you are being inundated with. Instead, I wanted to offer a moment to pause from the news. In fact, I want to focus on pausing.
We are all being collectively forced to pause. Many are overwhelmed by the idea of being still. Others are frightened because of the reason we must change our routines. We are facing a radical shift on a global scale. Humanity is being united in this time of adversity.
No one asked for this time off. Many of us would rather not have it. Most of us can’t afford it. Yet here we are faced with time on our hands, in our own space, alone with our thoughts and our fears.
Utilize this time. Grab a journal or notebook. Open a blank page on your computer, tablet or phone. Write. Explore. Reflect.
Here are some prompts to consider:
Write:
Jot down your thoughts and feelings, not to dig in or dive deep, but rather to release and make space so that you may have clarity in the days ahead.
Explore/Reflect:
What had been working before this break? How can I get back at it after? What was not working? What can I do differently when I resume my routine?
Reframe:
Take this time not to lament what is happening but to reframe as much of this as possible.
What can I do during this time to feel productive? To allow for growth? To keep my mind sharp?
How can I take advantage of this time now that I am required to slow down? What books have I wanted to read? What recipes have I wanted to try? What language have I wanted to learn? Who have I not connected with in some time? Do I want to write? Paint? Create?
Can I allow myself to create a schedule so I don’t get caught in the dragnet of despair? Can I create positive, healthy routines and be consistent for the duration of this quiet time so that I can maintain them when life returns to normal?
Can I allow myself to find reasons to be grateful during this challenging time? Can I offer understanding, grace and compassion to myself and those around me as we all try to navigate these difficult circumstances?
Whether you are in an area that is practicing social distancing or that is sheltering in place, remember you do not have to feel isolated or alone. Now more than ever is the time to utilize the power of technology, make video calls or better, video conference calls. Check in with friends and family, reach out if you are in need of reassurance or a reality check. Help a neighbor who is in a vulnerable group. Drop groceries or a meal at their door.
Know that this is uncharted territory for all of us and it is important that we all come together to help each other through.
Reset:
Take a deep breath in for your personal health and well-being and exhale to release positive vibrations to our global community. Breathe in clarity and breathe out your openness to change.
We will get through this together.
Stay in. Stay safe. Flatten the curve.
*****
Social distancing vs social isolation vs turning away/ignoring
As a therapist, I am having conversations daily about the current health crisis. The discussions range from confusion and fear or anger and a sense of one’s rights being taken away to a cavalier or ambivalent attitude that “this can’t happen to me.”
I have many clients who feel the media is trying to create panic. I have clients who feel they are young and healthy and therefore don’t need to worry and can continue to go about their usual business. And then there are the ones paralyzed with fear and anxiety that this is the end of the world.
I try to bring balance, understanding and a sense of urgency to the conversation without creating panic. I try to help them to understand that this crisis is not about individuals but about communities – local, regional, national AND international. This is a global issue. This is not individual rights – i.e. “it’s my spring break I should travel if I want to!” “it’s not fair that my classes, trip, party, sport, event, etc, got cancelled.”
The majority of my clients are young (18 – 30) and in good health and remind me “I’m not worried about catching this.” A few are anxious that it will kill them or someone they love.
I find myself trying to explain the goal of social distancing is not to “ruin their lives” but to save lives — many lives. The goal is to have less social contact so that there is less opportunity to spread the disease. The goal is to prevent the possibility of someone who is young and healthy from becoming a carrier of the virus. The goal is to contain the virus where it is and not bring it back to every community. The goal is to attempt to reduce the possibility of thousands of people becoming ill at the same time, because if we achieve this most important goal than our healthcare system won’t be overwhelmed and people will be able to receive proper treatment.
I remind my clients that staying away from crowds does not mean they need to completely isolate. That they can go outside on a nice day and have a walk. That they can and should utilize technology to see friends via video rather than travel across town in public transportation to visit a friend in person.
Most importantly, I emphasize the importance of not turning away from others or ignoring them. To be mindful that if they have a neighbor who is a member of the high risk, vulnerable population to offer to venture out to the store for that person and drop the package by their front door or deliver a meal. This situation is not about “every man for himself.” This situation is about protecting the community as a whole and remembering to help those in the community who may need the young and healthy to offer assistance and support.
The reality is we need to stay physically distant from others while finding ways to stay socially connected. When we are connected we think about others rather than just ourselves. We remember we are part of a community and right now remembering we are staying home in an attempt to help our communities and the healthcare workers who serve them.
*****
Welcome…leave your shoes at the door
“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Clean, comfortable, cozy and safe — those are some of the ways clients describe my New Paltz office. The goal is to create a space that is comfortable and inviting, a place where you want to spend time and where you feel relaxed enough to truly participate in the therapy.
One thing I find important is trying to help my clients to focus on themselves and their story. For that reason, I request that shoes remain outside the door. Like the Gandhi quote, we want to leave external negative forces outside, this allows us to concentrate on releasing the ones that do come in with you.
The act of removing one’s shoes is symbolic, it is the first step in releasing the challenges of the day and relaxing into our time, that is why so many of us kick off our shoes after a long day. Therapy is your time and your space. It is where you come to release the weight of the world, learn to deal with stressors and let go of all that does not serve you and your growth.
Taking off shoes helps you feel grounded. It allows you to feel more connected to the space, your body and your truth. Removing your shoes prior to entering my office becomes a ritual. My clients sit on the bench, take off their shoes and take a deep breath and release it. In those small moments, they are able to shift their perspective and prepare themselves to be present and grounded for their session.
So welcome…and please, take your shoes off.