Category Archives: reflect

You Are Here? Where are your goals?

  • You Are Here
    You Are Here/ Are you near your goals?

Where are you now? Are you near your goals?

We are mid-way through 2021. Are you where you want to be?

Now is a good time to reflect on what you’ve done and where you are. Take some time to reassess. Are you on track for reaching some of your goals for this year?

The goals don’t need to be lofty. A simple one for today is staying on track to reach a long-term goal.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Where am I now? Where do I want to be? What is the next right step to point me in that direction?

small steps + simple actions = sustainable progress

What consistent small steps are you taking toward your goal?

Reflect…Reframe…Reset

This message will not be about all that is happening in the world around you. The purpose is not to reiterate the stories you are being inundated with. Instead, I wanted to offer a moment to pause from the news. In fact, I want to focus on pausing.

We are all being collectively forced to pause. Many are overwhelmed by the idea of being still. Others are frightened because of the reason we must change our routines. We are facing a radical shift on a global scale. Humanity is being united in this time of adversity. 

No one asked for this time off. Many of us would rather not have it. Most of us can’t afford it. Yet here we are faced with time on our hands, in our own space, alone with our thoughts and our fears.

Utilize this time. Grab a journal or notebook. Open a blank page on your computer, tablet or phone. Write. Explore. Reflect. 

Here are some prompts to consider:

Write:

Jot down your thoughts and feelings, not to dig in or dive deep, but rather to release and make space so that you may have clarity in the days ahead. 

Explore/Reflect:

What had been working before this break? How can I get back at it after? What was not working? What can I do differently when I resume my routine?

Reframe:

Take this time not to lament what is happening but to reframe as much of this as possible. 

What can I do during this time to feel productive? To allow for growth? To keep my mind sharp? 

How can I take advantage of this time now that I am required to slow down? What books have I wanted to read? What recipes have I wanted to try? What language have I wanted to learn? Who have I not connected with in some time? Do I want to write? Paint? Create?

Can I allow myself to create a schedule so I don’t get caught in the dragnet of despair? Can I create positive, healthy routines and be consistent for the duration of this quiet time so that I can maintain them when life returns to normal?

Can I allow myself to find reasons to be grateful during this challenging time? Can I offer understanding, grace and compassion to myself and those around me as we all try to navigate these difficult circumstances?

Whether you are in an area that is practicing social distancing or that is sheltering in place, remember you do not have to feel isolated or alone. Now more than ever is the time to utilize the power of technology, make video calls or better, video conference calls. Check in with friends and family, reach out if you are in need of reassurance or a reality check. Help a neighbor who is in a vulnerable group. Drop groceries or a meal at their door. 

Know that this is uncharted territory for all of us and it is important that we all come together to help each other through.

Reset:

Take a deep breath in for your personal health and well-being and exhale to release positive vibrations to our global community. Breathe in clarity and breathe out your openness to change.

We will get through this together.

Stay in. Stay safe. Flatten the curve.

*****

Resolutions can be barriers to change

Happy New Year!

Are you one of the many people who has made a new year’s resolution? Have you noticed the challenges of resolutions? Most people make them on December 31st and break them before January 15th!

Why?

They often involve huge sweeping changes that are generally overwhelming — vowing to lose a certain number of pounds, to run a marathon, quit smoking, get a new job, move to a new city or just be happier — if you don’t have a plan your idea for change can quickly become and obstacle.

The idea of making changes is a good one. It is attempting a huge change all at once that causes so many failures. People who own gyms LOVE the start of a new year because so many people join as part of a resolution, yet by the end of January or by mid-February many of those same people will not be seen again — some will continue to pay a monthly fee (and not realize it) while others may have already paid in full up front — so the gym owners really don’t care.

When I work with clients I remind them that change happens in incremental steps. I work with them to change their focus from a clothing size, a certain number of calories consumed or the number on the scale to a more tangible and  immediate change — i.e. eat a complete healthy meal, plan a menu for the week, add a fruit or a vegetable, eat mindfully, honor your hunger. These types of changes are immediate and visible and can ultimately lead to the end goal of eating healthfully and having a healthy relationship with food.

If someone has never run a marathon I help them break down the resolution from where they are today. Are they a runner at all? Is the resolution to buy appropriate running shoes and start walking/running? Or is it to increase their current capacity to a half marathon?

Smoking is one of the hardest habits to break. Some believe you must stop immediately, while others consider tapering down. It is important to track when you smoke and why — to understand how much is habit and how much is need (addiction). I had a client who discovered she smoked when bored, anxious or “because everyone else was going on a smoke break.” When she dealt with her anxiety and found a solution to her boredom the change became less difficult. She began knitting in the evenings to keep her hands occupied!

For clients who want to write, draw, paint, etc. I tell them the same thing. Try to do a bit every day. Write a few words, then a sentence and, eventually, a paragraph. Draw a doodle, sketch an object, build from there. Keeping a journal helps — if they can get past the mindset that it is a “daily diary.” I remind them it is not like a teenage diary where a snapshot of each day is committed to paper.  It is about thoughts, ideas, concepts. carry it everywhere and write/draw when ideas strike. Some people use their phones as a substitute. Just allow yourself to be consistent.

Consistency is the key.

So, if you’ve made a resolution for the new year, why not add to it? When implementing changes starts to feel difficult, tell yourself, “I resolve to be consistent about showing up to complete my resolution.

Studies show having someone help you to remain accountable to your goals can increase your chances of achieving them. So find a friend or mentor or hire a coach to help you stay on track.

*****