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Resolutions can be barriers to change

Happy New Year!

Are you one of the many people who has made a new year’s resolution? Have you noticed the challenges of resolutions? Most people make them on December 31st and break them before January 15th!

Why?

They often involve huge sweeping changes that are generally overwhelming — vowing to lose a certain number of pounds, to run a marathon, quit smoking, get a new job, move to a new city or just be happier — if you don’t have a plan your idea for change can quickly become and obstacle.

The idea of making changes is a good one. It is attempting a huge change all at once that causes so many failures. People who own gyms LOVE the start of a new year because so many people join as part of a resolution, yet by the end of January or by mid-February many of those same people will not be seen again — some will continue to pay a monthly fee (and not realize it) while others may have already paid in full up front — so the gym owners really don’t care.

When I work with clients I remind them that change happens in incremental steps. I work with them to change their focus from a clothing size, a certain number of calories consumed or the number on the scale to a more tangible and  immediate change — i.e. eat a complete healthy meal, plan a menu for the week, add a fruit or a vegetable, eat mindfully, honor your hunger. These types of changes are immediate and visible and can ultimately lead to the end goal of eating healthfully and having a healthy relationship with food.

If someone has never run a marathon I help them break down the resolution from where they are today. Are they a runner at all? Is the resolution to buy appropriate running shoes and start walking/running? Or is it to increase their current capacity to a half marathon?

Smoking is one of the hardest habits to break. Some believe you must stop immediately, while others consider tapering down. It is important to track when you smoke and why — to understand how much is habit and how much is need (addiction). I had a client who discovered she smoked when bored, anxious or “because everyone else was going on a smoke break.” When she dealt with her anxiety and found a solution to her boredom the change became less difficult. She began knitting in the evenings to keep her hands occupied!

For clients who want to write, draw, paint, etc. I tell them the same thing. Try to do a bit every day. Write a few words, then a sentence and, eventually, a paragraph. Draw a doodle, sketch an object, build from there. Keeping a journal helps — if they can get past the mindset that it is a “daily diary.” I remind them it is not like a teenage diary where a snapshot of each day is committed to paper.  It is about thoughts, ideas, concepts. carry it everywhere and write/draw when ideas strike. Some people use their phones as a substitute. Just allow yourself to be consistent.

Consistency is the key.

So, if you’ve made a resolution for the new year, why not add to it? When implementing changes starts to feel difficult, tell yourself, “I resolve to be consistent about showing up to complete my resolution.

Studies show having someone help you to remain accountable to your goals can increase your chances of achieving them. So find a friend or mentor or hire a coach to help you stay on track.

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